Realization

I was talking to a friend tonight that I have know for over 20 years. We got to talking about what was going on with me. She asked me about the father of my child and I told her that he is living back with me and my parents because I want him here for my child. She knows about the while situation of what went on during my and my ex's relationship and she told me that I need to kick him out which I completely agree with but I don't want him to be homeless. He was suppose to leave and go visit a friend and maybe start a new life. I was really looking forward to it but now it doesn't look like he's going anywhere. The idea of telling him that he needs to leave kind of scares me. I want him gone but I'm afraid of the fight he would start with me. I don't want him to take my child because he has told me that he will take our child away from me and leave the country. I have heard of stories where the man can leave the country with the child and move away with some countries would side with the man no matter what my country says. I don't want to risk it. I don't want to piss him off and he disappear into the night with our child. I still feel like he has this hold over me and I'm scared that I will never get out from under his hold. I just wish he would disappear and let me raise our child alone. I have been doing a great job without his help for years now.

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