Realization

I was talking to a friend tonight that I have know for over 20 years. We got to talking about what was going on with me. She asked me about the father of my child and I told her that he is living back with me and my parents because I want him here for...

Every day is a fight

I'm trying to stay strong but I'm fighting on no engery evey day. I'm just hoping something changes here pretty soon. I keep calling on jobs that I have applied for. When should you just give up on a job that is still trying resumes from people after...

Trying

I'm still trying to find work no matter what. But I feel like I won't ever find a job. I just feeling like a failure everyday because I can't support my child by working. Plus I found out that my ex isn't going to be moving. Has anyone ever fought for...

Insight

With where my life is at, it's hard to not have a bad reaction to little things that I should have control over. I was trying to save money for something that was for my child that would just put a smile on their face. It would have been nice but I'll...

A little blue

My sister just had a baby. This is her second child plus she has a really great guy, her own place too. I'm in my early thirtys. It just throws me into a small depression because it makes me realize I have nothing in my life. I have one child but no...

Second Date

Well I was talking with a friend and I was thinking out loud to this friend. I have never been on a second date. All the guys I have dated I was already in a relationship with them. I don't know what I'm doing wrong to get that second and third than...

Thoughts in mind

What I would love to have right now is a time machine just to see what my future holds. Not one to change the past or even the future. Just to make sure I'm doing what's right. I'm so tired of guessing and hoping that something works out. I have two...

Who am I?

Here I am a single mother, taking care of my parents, and in my 30's. I can't figure out who I am. I have a dating profile and I still can't figure out who I am to put in the information about what I'm about. The only thing that comes to my mind is...

Lacking Focus

I'm trying to focus on life all together but it's just not working. I'm trying to work out a little more so I can lose weight and maybe do stuff with  my child. I still want to find a government job because it gives the best benefits, ie insurance,...

Depression

I have been fighting with a light case of depression for over 10 years now. I keep trying to pull myself out but yet one small thing can throw me right back into it. I have been seeing someone for over year until my therapist disappeared about 3...

Pain

It's more emotional pain than anything else. I don't know what else to do. I don't have a job and I can't really do anything for my child. My child told someone today that if they where good, maybe we can get our own place. That broke me. I keep going...

A new feeling

I went on a date tonight with someone that made me acctually smile. My child always makes me laugh and smile everyday but this is a different kind of feelings. He didn't even try anything, he was a complete gentleman for the whole night. I'm not use...

Dating

I have started dating after 7 years of being in emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. Plus almost 5 years of being single. It's weird of trying to find someone that I have some type of a connection. My child is ok with me dating. My parents...

Writer's Block

Yes I have writer's block on some of the stuff I'm working on. I never wanted to post about this type of stuff because I wanted to keep myself a little more secret on here but I figured maybe writing on here might help me. I'm really big on writing...

Alone 2

I'm  alone again. It makes me cry everyday. I look at my phone to call someone but all my friends are busy. I know my friends are tired of me having no money and that I can't pay for anything. I'm tired of being left out. Looking at my phone the only...

Questioning life

So I was let go from my job in late February but they rehired me this week. I had worked 15 hours unpaid until Friday. Yesterday was my first day by myself while being back. I have a feeling that it will be my last. I just don't know how I'm suppose...

What comes around doesn't always come around

So I was let go at a job I really like about a month and half ago. It broke my heart but there was a promise to something better was coming with that company which they wanted me for. I love the idea and I can't wait. I keep hoping that promise wasn't...

blocking

Well I got a call from one of my coworkers because they didn't put in the information they need to. So I decided that since I still kind of working with them even though I haven't been in the office. I called in to give the office personal information...

alone

I want to start off with what this post is suppose to be about but than I'll share some good news. I'm just tired of being alone. I want to be in a relationship with a good man. I know a relationship will happen when its suppose to happen but I'm...

wow

I'm now set in a schedule at work. I love it. We hired one more person that is doing the same thing I am. The only thing I don't like is that I'm not going to get as many hours as I was but at least now I'll be able to help my kid with their homeowork...

Emotions

So I have been trying to keep my emotions away at work. Like me wanting to rip my coworkers head off after the whole thing went down about a month ago. My manager knows almost everything that went on. The only thing they don't know is that I slept...

Feelings

So some of the titles I will creat won't even go with the blog I make because I don't know what to title something that is just all over the place. I have always been a little different than most of the people I know. For some weird reason I attach...

problem sleeping

So a lot has happened since my last blog. Merry christmas and Happy Holidays. I got my job about two weeks ago. A guy asked me out but we didn't end up going out. I guess he changed his mind. We did have intercourse but the next day we talked about a...